Universe Speaks

March 20, 2010

I had an unfortunate experience online tonight.  The universe apparently has a message for me that is for my higher good.  I can’t cross over the bridge to really owning that until I process the living you-know-what  out of the situation.  I was working on some homework for a leadership course I’m taking for the next 9 months.  I learned the hard way that if you do your homework online for too long, it will time out on you and OOPS, there is no auto save on the page and you lose it all.  I felt so smart this time because I uploaded the document for the homework and cut and pasted it and then started to do some seriously cool edits to it and after about a half hour of serious edits the screen said “the system has timed out” and then something about unless you do something soon it will log out.  Well the thing was that the whole time I WAS on the system!!!! My fingers were ploughing away!!! I was creating some great stuff.  It was flowing out of me in that way where after I read it I wonder who came through me and downloaded that stuff?!  (Yes, I know, my 7th grade English teacher is rolling in her grave whenever I use either “things” or “stuff” and she forgot that I also learned the concept “poetic license”).  So now all I have is the original draft with none of the lovely edited enhancements.  And I am bitter.

So now, for the sake of us all learning something from adversity yet and again, I will try to figure out the message of this.  This may hurt so bear with me (hurt me, that is!!).  I’m guessing the message is that for all this time that I have been creating a struggle for myself around getting out here and writing, that I need to learn somewhere how to not be attached to my work.  So as I was enjoying myself and having a total ball editing and making things sing, the universe said “not so fast, my pretty!!!” and the rest is literally history.  I also have to let go, when I’m good and ready, to my bitterness around whomever designed an interactive web network that doesn’t autosave drafts or tell you up front to please save your work “in case” the system times out.  No, I don’t want to take any responsibility for my role in this.  I want to be bitter.  And when I’m done it will all be fine and no one will be too hurt for it all.  The other piece, I suppose, is the universe reminding me again that I am building a new soul muscle around how I can just do it again and I have all that I need to make something just as groovy as the last one.  That there is no lack going on here in terms of the capacity I have to create ideas and inspirations with my words.  That “this is not the last of what you’ve got missy!!!!”  Fine.  Just fine.

So here I go, over the bridge of humility and into the land of “let’s try that again.”  And I will. Tomorrow. Besides, this screen might just

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